Friday, May 13, 2011

Deadlines & Failures: Or How To Not To Graduate Again Gracefully

I love deadlines.  I like the whooshing sound when they fly by.
Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
Governors Island, Eleuthera
Better Days

If there was a handmade devil available just for thanks, I already got him and his buddy...To prepare for the final CLAM projects.  I made some elaborate plans involving weather and a popsicle stick bridge...but, it was just a no go.  I have some amazing photos and video...but no story or spin could be found.  

Then it occurred to me...While I had reached out to meet the sustainability community, I lost touch with my own sustainability community.  In a way, I have been telling my story, evolving into a more conscious human being. I talked the talk, now I walk the walk...yes, literally I have been writing the word.  

It will put you to the test, but 21 days later you will have a new habit or have broken an old one.  

Just Add Chickens

Challenges arrive and you will fail at times.  But, ‘round my house, we are ok with failure because most people play it safe and never try anything to test their limitations.  So we fail and we get up and try again or we persevere till our goal has been met.  This tends to be a real problem...because, one of my mentors (a woman with 12 kids, got her law degree after 40 and is now a judge in DC) told me the secret of having an extraordinary life.  ‘BIT OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW AND CHEW LIKE HELL!’  
Or only one of my weeks : 5 flag football games, 1 end of year parent teacher conference, 1 beginning season coaches meeting, 5 football practices, 2 missed school bus rides, an overnighted terabit hard drive, 1 borrowed tripod (finally), 5 broken promises extending help, a friend’s graduation and a perfectionist, a lost interoffice mailed form, a CU administrator with an attitude and a few promises broken, a terrorist high alert threat level or code red, a mother returning to town after 3 years absence- no more than per the “usual”.  Further, disconnected internet and tornado wipe out of my undergraduate institution and less than 3 hours of consistent sleep for I lost track - to learn everything there is to know about imovie.  
I underestimated the time it took to convert and stabilize files...I wish I had gone super low tech.  Having project restrictions and/ or gear limitations- provides the restrictions necessary for creative genius to happen.  I still love my sweet video camera. It rocks.  My Old Mac book is hanging in there...but the battery is almost dead.  My phones are all tanking at the same time...when it rains, it’s asteroids.  Not to mention the incredulous look on the 13 year old...when I the date 5/13 - and my face when he asked me when I passed my final exit exams....I said yes **and then I had to tell him I would not be able to participate in graduation. (written post 5/12)** So now what does it really mean? 
So really what does it mean, who really cares. No one, but my chest still hurts and I am filled with an incredible amount of regret.  I know I did my best and that is all that matters. And I will again.
It is my mantra...still chewing.

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